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On the cot I tried, as a sleep trick, to remember my answer to Essay Question I– word for fucking word.

This sentence expresses how the girl keeps her time occupied with mind-engaging activities. She does this in order to shut out any sad thoughts about her parents’ death. As the girl is trying to fall asleep, she is afraid of letting her mind wander freely, afraid that she will begin to think of the loss of her parents. By keeping her mind busy, memorizing her answer to the essay question, she is able to avoid thoughts that she cannot control. Also, the paragraph in which the girl writes a “P” on her hand shows the reader how the girl tries to control even the simplest aspects of her life. The reader can see how she feels unsafe or nervous when she is out of control. It seems as though one diversion from her regime will cause her world to crumble. From this, one is able to conclude that the narrator has unresolved sorrows that continue to be suppressed, and is unable to find a healthy coping mechanism. When the narrator says “word for fucking word,” the reader is able to see how desperate the girl is about controlling everything in her environment for the sake of her sanity. The language that the author uses in this sentence stands out to the reader, catches them off guard, and makes them see the anguish that the girl has to live with every day.

 

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